Swiping on a dating app is all fun and games, right up until you realize it’s up to you to send the first message. Instead of waiting for clever opening lines to roll in — or feeling as if the pressure is equally placed on both parties to say something more creative than “hey” So, what’s the best way to get a conversation started? Cheesy opening lines are always a decent option when you’re completely at a loss for what to say. But if you really want to have a zesty back-and-forth, have a scroll through their bio, see what you have in common, and ask a question that’ll make them come up with a robust answer. “Ask open-ended questions that hint at who you are, demonstrate curiosity [in their life], and elicit a discussion,” dating coach Lori Ann Kret, LCSW, BCC.
It’s also a good idea to keep authenticity in mind. While it can be so tempting to try to “say the right thing” or be impressive when sending messages it’s much better to stay true to yourself and ask Qs that feel like they’re coming from a genuine place. “You may not get as many matches this way, but those who do engage will be higher quality connections for you,” Kret says.
If you don’t hear back after reaching out, move on! According to dating coach Veronica Grant, you won’t want to waste your time with someone who isn’t responding or matching your energy. The dating pond is vast and there will always be someone else to talk. With that in mind, read on for 31 ways to get people talking on dating apps.